How to Let Go of Anxiety (Allowing God to Shine Through You)

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
How to Let Go of Anxiety (Allowing God to Shine Through You)

On a scale of one to ten, how much anxiety do you have, with one being no anxiety and ten being overwhelmed and incapacitated?

Many of us face anxiety that comes from trying to control things we have no control over. Do you worry about all the possible things that can go wrong and feel helpless to stop them?

Social media, television, and radio constantly remind us of the world's misfortunes, leaving us to wonder if we could be next.

Healing from anxiety takes time and spiritual work. The more you can connect with the holy within you, the more God can shine through you. Are you ready to let go of anxiety?

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Five Ways to Cultivate a Healthy Masculinity and Femininity

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Five Ways to Cultivate a Healthy Masculinity and Femininity

We live in a complex world, yet we want to divide people into two genders. We expect men to be masculine and women to be feminine. 

With modern psychology, we have learned that we have both within us. It is a like a continuum with masculinity and femininity at either end of the spectrum. Most of us land in the middle of the continuum. We all need a healthy masculinity and femininity.

Until recently, children have been raised to behave in specific ways depending on their gender identity. Girls were brought up to be caring, maternal, gentle and obedient to parents, particularly men.

Boys were considered tough, assertive, violent, and controlling. Boys grew up with the belief that they were superior to girls. You still hear the excuse for male violence with the saying, “Boys will be boys.” We still see signs of this in our society with a high rate of violence against girls and women.

Women and men are both hurt by this sexist divide. We are forced into being people we are not. When women are not permitted to be strong, assertive and outspoken, they often take out their anger on other women. 

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Why Being Self-Loving Makes You a Better Partner

/ REL Consultants (Spiritual Life Coach and Enneagram Teacher)/
Why Being Self-Loving Makes You a Better Partner

What does it mean to love yourself and be a better partner? Have you found a way to love yourself while ensuring you meet all your needs? Can you love yourself as much as you love your partner and kids?

How good are you at loving yourself? Do you get plenty of sleep, eat healthy food, exercise, pay attention to your emotions, enjoy time with friends and family and get help when needed? How you answer this question will reveal your strengths and growing edges around self-love.

If you are struggling to care for yourself, first, you must get over the belief drilled into you as a child that you need to always put the needs of others before your own. The pressure to put others first is especially true for women who are expected to sacrifice themselves for the needs of their families.

You get into relationship problems when you expect others to meet your needs. The reality is that you are responsible for your happiness. When you love yourself, you ensure that you are getting your needs met. You are no longer relying on another person to make you okay. Being grounded in your body, heart, and head help you be a better partner.

In any relationship, you need balance. Yes, there will be times that you will happily go out of your way to help another person when they are having a rough time. It only becomes a problem when you are always the one to give up your life for them.  

In a healthy relationship, there will be a balance over time. You will both be there to support and encourage each other. No one will take advantage of the other.

Here are Eight ways that loving yourself helps you to be a better partner:

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How to Transform Your Inner Critic into an Inner Coach

/ REL Consultants Coaching (Roland Legge)/
How to Transform Your Inner Critic into an Inner Coach

You have an Inner Critic:

The inner critic has good intentions. It wants to keep you safe. Unfortunately, it can become a problem because it wants to limit you to only doing what is familiar. You will notice that the negative voice of the inner voice gets louder whenever you are doing something new. Are you ready to move from listening to the inner critic to the inner coach?

The first step is to recognize when the inner critic is speaking. Until you become more self-aware, you won't likely notice the negative voice because it is all you hear. You are convinced this is the truth, so why fight it?

You will know the inner critic is talking because of the loud, impatient, demeaning, hostile and judgmental voice.

Over time you will learn to notice when your inner critic is active. Once you are aware this is happening, you can choose to have a conversation with this part of you and reassure this part of yourself that you are capable of taking good care of yourself.

You might want to give your inner critic a name so it will be easier to converse with this part of you. Be kind to this part of you because it wants to keep you safe. An excellent way to quiet your inner critic is by inviting it to use its energy for positive things, such as reminding you to slow down and breathe. Are you ready to move from listening to the inner critic to the inner coach?

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6 Simple Steps To Building A Relationship With God

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
6 Simple Steps To Building A Relationship With God

How to connect with God. It takes time and intention to open yourself to the Spirit.

God is a big word; there is no one definition of God. God is a powerful source of wisdom beyond anything we can understand. God is the living energy/spirit that gives life to everything and connects you with everything.

God is much bigger than all the great religions of the world. Together, all of them help us to name the mystery of God. God has names such as Father, Friend, Oneness, Allah, YHWH, Jehovah, Elohim, Adonai, Hu, and El Shaddai. God is not something you can put in a box.

In Christianity, we even say that Jesus was God. There is nothing wrong with imagining God as a person as long as we do not limit our understanding. God needs to remain a mystery.

This loving, wise force we call God is within everything on earth, including you and I.

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Enneagram Wings: How to Find Yours & Why They Matter

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Enneagram Wings: How to Find Yours & Why They Matter

Why the Enneagram? The Enneagram is a fantastic tool to help you to be your finest. It reveals the lies you tell yourself, your fears, and your unexpressed emotions. It points you towards the areas of your life that need healing. It shows you a path forward.

Once you name your Enneagram type, the adventure begins. Your type is where you go under stress; It is the automatic behaviours you do without intention or effort. It is your default when the rest of you is closed down.

Learning your type can take some months, even years. Some online tests can help you, but there is no perfect one.

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Feeling Stuck? Five Tips for Managing Life Transitions

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Feeling Stuck? Five Tips for Managing Life Transitions

The one thing that never stops is change. Ether, we adapt to the changing world or be doomed to a life of disappointment, anger and frustration.

Are you one of the many overwhelmed by all our responsibilities and the constant change in the world? You are not alone. Remember that life is in the transitions.

Are you feeling stuck in a job you don't enjoy because you are afraid of failing in something new? Are you in a relationship that sucks your life out because you fear being alone?

It is easy to get stuck in this lethargy. You are tired and do not feel like you have the energy or money to try something new. The good news is that there is a way out of this.

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Awesome Stress-busting tips for all nine Enneagram Types

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Awesome Stress-busting tips for all nine Enneagram Types

The Enneagram is a psychological, spiritual map for personal growth. The Enneagram helps you to make a conscious change in your life. As you become self-aware of your behaviour and mindset, you can make better choices.

The Enneagram will point out where you are most likely to get stuck and give you choices that are more in harmony with your needs. It will help you recognize unconscious behaviour allowing you to respond in new and healthier ways.

The Enneagram tackles stress. One popular teaching from Russ Hudson and Don Riso talks about how stress affects our behaviour. Each Enneagram type disintegrates under pressure and shows up in the most dysfunctional behaviour of another type. This dynamic will help you understand why you behave differently under stress.

Stress can affect us at any time, whether you are in heavy traffic, starting a new job or waiting for the results of a test from your doctor. When you get stuck in stress, it pushes your natural personality to its limit and takes on some of the unhealthy behaviours of another type. At times like this, you do not feel like yourself.

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6 Signs that it is time to end your relationship

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
6 Signs that it is time to end your relationship

Most relationships begin well. When you are first in love, everything your beloved does is fantastic, cute and endearing. They can do no wrong.

As you move beyond the honeymoon phase, the blinder comes off, and you see your partner for they are.

Little habits of your partner start to annoy you. Maybe they never pick up their clothes off the floor. They never follow through on what they promise to do.

Is this person someone you are willing to give it your all. Is it worth your effort to see if you can make this relationship work?

Do the concerns seem minor compared to the benefits. Do you still want to see this man or woman every day? Do you feel like the most important person in the world when you are with them?

If you want to give your relationship a fair chance to grow, you need to invest time in the union. Make sure you have time every day to check in with each other. Create a safe space to share whatever is going on in your lives.

If you do run into problems, don't be afraid to ask for help, whether that be a religious leader, friend, family member or professional coach or counsellor.

If, after all this work, you are still having doubts about the relationships, here are six signs that it is time to end your relationship.

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Nine Ways to Liberate your Inner Critic

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Nine Ways to Liberate your Inner Critic

You have an inner critic, and it is never going to go away. The good news is that you can learn to quiet down this part of your self.

First, here is an introduction to the inner critic and the ego.

The inner critic is part of your ego. Your ego is there to help you differentiate yourself from others. It is the beginning of your growing self-awareness that separates you as a distinct person. Finding your own identity is essential for your survival.

Your inner critic wants to keep you safe. During your childhood years, It helps you to stay safe at a time in your life when you are vulnerable.

The trouble is that the inner critic tries to keep you safe by pressuring you to stay with the familiar. It will panic whenever you try something new.

When you become an adult, it is beneficial to notice when your inner critic is speaking. The voice of the inner critic is usually loud, impatient, abrasive and angry. The voice of your true self is typically gentle, persuasive and patient.

When you are aware that your inner critic is speaking, you then have the choice to ignore it and follow the voice of your true self. You have the option to invite your inner critic to help you be more constructive. You might ask it to let you know when you are getting stuck in fear.

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