Coaches and counsellors have much in common, yet understanding the differences is essential.
Each practitioner brings something unique to their practice. Whether you choose a coach or counsellor, you must find someone you can trust and feel comfortable sharing.
Read MoreWe live in a complex world, yet we want to divide people into two genders. We expect men to be masculine and women to be feminine.
With modern psychology, we have learned that we have both within us. It is a like a continuum with masculinity and femininity at either end of the spectrum. Most of us land in the middle of the continuum. We all need a healthy masculinity and femininity.
Until recently, children have been raised to behave in specific ways depending on their gender identity. Girls were brought up to be caring, maternal, gentle and obedient to parents, particularly men.
Boys were considered tough, assertive, violent, and controlling. Boys grew up with the belief that they were superior to girls. You still hear the excuse for male violence with the saying, “Boys will be boys.” We still see signs of this in our society with a high rate of violence against girls and women.
Women and men are both hurt by this sexist divide. We are forced into being people we are not. When women are not permitted to be strong, assertive and outspoken, they often take out their anger on other women.
Read MoreIt takes courage to ask for help and be willing to explore what is going on within your mind, body and heart.
Good for you if you have chosen to work with a therapist.
Finding the right therapist is like finding the right partner. You need to find a person that you trust.
Read MoreYou are a complex being. Your life will flow when you pay attention to your soul. To do this work requires patience, determination and commitment. Doing a soul detox is difficult, but the results are life-changing.
The Enneagram is a great tool to help you do this work. It is like a spiritual map to show you how and the type of work you need to do. The Enneagram is not enough in itself. You must find practices that will help you connect with your soul through your body, heart and mind.
Read MoreWhat does it mean to love yourself and be a better partner? Have you found a way to love yourself while ensuring you meet all your needs? Can you love yourself as much as you love your partner and kids?
How good are you at loving yourself? Do you get plenty of sleep, eat healthy food, exercise, pay attention to your emotions, enjoy time with friends and family and get help when needed? How you answer this question will reveal your strengths and growing edges around self-love.
If you are struggling to care for yourself, first, you must get over the belief drilled into you as a child that you need to always put the needs of others before your own. The pressure to put others first is especially true for women who are expected to sacrifice themselves for the needs of their families.
You get into relationship problems when you expect others to meet your needs. The reality is that you are responsible for your happiness. When you love yourself, you ensure that you are getting your needs met. You are no longer relying on another person to make you okay. Being grounded in your body, heart, and head help you be a better partner.
In any relationship, you need balance. Yes, there will be times that you will happily go out of your way to help another person when they are having a rough time. It only becomes a problem when you are always the one to give up your life for them.
In a healthy relationship, there will be a balance over time. You will both be there to support and encourage each other. No one will take advantage of the other.
You entered your marriage thinking it would last the rest of your life. You had dreams of what it would be like to grow older together. All these dreams have now come to an end. After the divorce, what kind of life do you want?
When you accept that your marriage is over, you can begin the grieving process. Grieving takes time; sometimes, you will need help from a professional if you feel stuck in your emotions.
After you have done the work to ready yourself for your new life, you can begin the next chapter of your life.
A great tool to help you renew your life is the psychological-spiritual tool called the Enneagram. The Enneagram comprises nine personality types, and you have all nine types within you. Each of us has one type we go to when we are stressed, and this is our personality type. Your type reveals to you the lens through which you see the world.
If you want to create an amazing life after the divorce, you will benefit from accessing the gifts from the nine types.
What does it mean for you? There are many different ways to be a spiritual person.
You can be a spiritual person in and outside of religion. Spirituality is about recognizing and experiencing the life force that connects you with everything animate and inanimate. It connects you with a greater power that humans have given many names.
If you are part of a faith community, you might refer to this power as God, Allah, Goddess, Mohammad, Jesus, Budah and many more.
The major religions of the world have much to teach us about spirituality. No religion is better than another; they are just different.
They all came into being to help people live joyful, meaningful and purposeful lives. People who inspired the great religions of the world saw a need to build more caring and just communities.
What does it mean for you to be a spiritual person?
Religion has done great things, such as ending slavery, providing education for all, standing up for civil rights, bringing down the iron curtain and more.
Also, terrible things happen in the name of religion, such as the crusade, antisemitism, promotion of slavery, division, extremist ideology, Islamaphobia and Christian nationalism.
If you are part of a faith tradition, find a person who can help you to learn your tradition, letting go of what no longer serves you and practising traditions that give you life. Each religion has a different lens to experience spirituality.
In the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Islam and Christianity), a good guide would be to follow the great commandment to love God with all your heart, be kind to yourself and love your neighbour as yourself.
As much of the world has become more secular, spirituality has taken on a life beyond the world's religions. I am going to focus on finding spirituality outside of organized religion.
The irony is that many practices used in the secular world have origins in religion.
How would you describe your understanding of what it means to be a spiritual person to a friend?
Read MoreThe Enneagram is a powerful tool for transformation. It can help you build healthy habits that will help you to be the best you can be.
Most people know the Enneagram as a personality typing system. Naming your personality type is a small part of what it is all about.
At its best, the Enneagram is a psychological-spiritual map to help you become self-aware, noticing the habits that no longer serve you and learning new ways of being that will bring you joy, purpose and the freedom to be your best self.
Your primary Type will never change—your levels of health shift which will impact how you show up in the world. As you get healthier in your Type, you will get stronger in all nine Enneagram types.
Want to Discover Your Enneagram Type? Click Here to Book your Free Enneagram Typing Session.
With the help of the Enneagram and Coaching, you can learn how to observe yourself in action. Each Type will show you behaviours you need to watch out for and give clues on how you can make better choices that will help you create healthier habits.
This work is about creating new neural pathways that will get stronger every time you practice a new way of being that brings out the best in you. The stronger your neural pathways are, the easier it will be to build new habits that serve you.
Remember that you have all nine types within you so that you can learn from every Type.
Read MoreYou get trapped in old habits that no longer serve you. Navigating life transitions can help you to get the best out of life.
Every time you choose the "devil you know versus the devil you don't know," you move further and further away from living the life the universe desire you to live.
The challenge is to get over the feeling of hopelessness and feelings of being helpless. Your inner critic is getting in the way of you moving ahead.
Read MoreSome might say Enneagram Type Eight, the Challenger, is the hardest to love. At their average levels, the Challenger can be forceful and aggressive. They assert control over themselves and others. They will push even harder whenever they feel someone is trying to hold them back. Eights can be intimidating because they say whatever is on their mind. They don't care what other people think of them.
Eights feel vulnerable. Most people don't realize they are big-hearted people. Unfortunately, as a way to survive, they close their hearts down because they believe it is unsafe to be weak and vulnerable.
Average eights will hide their true feelings and expect people to try and control them. This wound sets up an in-balance of power, making it difficult for the couple to communicate and resolve conflict. The eight is always ready for battle, increasing the potential for severe conflict or the silencing of the non-eight partner.
Read MoreI offer coaching to individuals, couples and small businesses and nonprofits. I use the Deep Coaching model that helps one to become self aware and present. It helps both individuals and organizations to live in the present instead of the past and future. This type of coaching is for those who really want real change in their lives.
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