When Divorce Becomes A Reality: How To Let Go Of A Dream & Move On With Your Life

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
When Divorce Becomes A Reality: How To Let Go Of A Dream & Move On With Your Life

How do I let go of a dream that was my relationship with my ex?

Going through a divorce is one of the most challenging things you will do in your life, even when done respectfully.

You are now divorced, and suddenly reality hits. You come home from work, and there is no one to share the highs and lows of the day. You have to do things that your partner used to do and learn again how to do it. You want to go out for dinner, but who do you ask. Most of your recent friends are people you hung out with as couples.

You will need to make time to grieve. You have many questions and concerns that working through will help you begin letting go.

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3 Ways your Ego deludes You

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
3 Ways your Ego deludes You

You could not have survived your childhood without your ego. Your ego helped you to understand yourself as an individual. It enabled you to stay safe.

As you grow into adulthood, your ego, if left unchecked, will cause problems. Your ego likes to keep you doing the familiar. It loves the status-quo.

Your ego wants to keep you safe, but it is robbing you of new and exciting experiences. Anytime you try something different, it will do its best to stop you through the inner critic's negative voice.

A great way to stop your ego from controlling your life is to learn the psychological-spiritual tool called the Enneagram.

The first step is to discern your Enneagram type, and this can take some time. There are nine different possibilities. The lens through which you experience the world is different for each of the nine Enneagram types.

Once you discover your type, the Enneagram provides you with a map for personal development. It shows you the places where you get stuck in your ego and how to become free.

As you become self-aware, you will catch yourself getting stuck in the delusion of the ego.

Here are three ways the ego deludes you.

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Nine Ways to Liberate your Inner Critic

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Nine Ways to Liberate your Inner Critic

You have an inner critic, and it is never going to go away. The good news is that you can learn to quiet down this part of your self.

First, here is an introduction to the inner critic and the ego.

The inner critic is part of your ego. Your ego is there to help you differentiate yourself from others. It is the beginning of your growing self-awareness that separates you as a distinct person. Finding your own identity is essential for your survival.

Your inner critic wants to keep you safe. During your childhood years, It helps you to stay safe at a time in your life when you are vulnerable.

The trouble is that the inner critic tries to keep you safe by pressuring you to stay with the familiar. It will panic whenever you try something new.

When you become an adult, it is beneficial to notice when your inner critic is speaking. The voice of the inner critic is usually loud, impatient, abrasive and angry. The voice of your true self is typically gentle, persuasive and patient.

When you are aware that your inner critic is speaking, you then have the choice to ignore it and follow the voice of your true self. You have the option to invite your inner critic to help you be more constructive. You might ask it to let you know when you are getting stuck in fear.

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Being a Better Human Being: Bringing out the best in each other at Christmas

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Being a Better Human Being: Bringing out the best in each other at Christmas

Christmas can be stressful. The more stressed you become, the more miserable you get.  The more miserable you are, the less patient you are.

Ironically, Christmas is supposed to bring out the best in you, and yet sometimes it does the opposite.

Christmas celebrates the goodness of humankind.  It is a time to be generous, share your love, let go of resentments and give hope to the hopeless.

Do you put so many expectations on yourself? If you do, you are so busy; you have no time to quiet down and open yourself to the spirit?

To find joy again at Christmas, you first need to acknowledge how you feel about this time of year. If it brings you joy, you are on track. If it raises your blood pressure, it is time to make changes.

What are the essential qualities of Christmas for you? Here are some of the qualities that are important to me.  Check these out and see if they fit for you?

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Perfectionist and Christmas (How to Survive)

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Perfectionist and Christmas (How to Survive)

Christmas is supposed to be a joyful, happy season. Yet for many of us, it can be challenging.

Do you find it like a command performance when you must pretend to be full of joy? When you feel forced to lie to people about how you think, it makes you even worse.

You are not always going to be happy when Christmas rolls around every year.

If you are a perfectionist, you can feel extreme pressure at this time of year to have everything “perfect” for your family and friends. You think you need to host the perfect party, give the ideal gift, prepare the perfect Christmas dinner and keep your house in immaculate condition.

Here are five ways for the perfectionist to survive Christmas:

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Seven Ways to Inner Peace After Divorce

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Seven Ways to Inner Peace After Divorce

Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful events you can experience in life.  Even if you have come to a decision together, it is still hard.

It is hard because there is grief. Your dream of a lifelong relationship together has ended. Your expectation that your partner would be there for you for the rest of your life has come to an end.

If you have children, you are now a single parent. How are they going to thrive in this new, unfamiliar environment? Where are they going to live? How will they get to see both parents if it is safe?

Unless you can find a way to share the home you have been living in, you will have increased expenses as you and your partner will each need a place to live.

You have been saving up for some new clothes, a new car or a trip that you now must put on hold because of all the extra expenses.  

Your friendships are going to change. Some of the couples you used to enjoy company with may disappear from your life. Friends that you once new together may choose to only stay friends with your ex-partner.

Your favourite pet may go to live with your ex-partner. You will have to divide up all the contents of your home. It won’t be easy.

Here are seven ways to inner peace after a divorce:

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