April 20, 2023

Five Ways to Cultivate a Healthy Masculinity and Femininity

April 20, 2023/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

We live in a complex world, yet we want to divide people into two genders. We expect men to be masculine and women to be feminine.

With modern psychology, we have learned that we have both within us. It is a like a continuum with masculinity and femininity at either end of the spectrum. Most of us land in the middle of the continuum. We all need a healthy masculinity and femininity.

Until recently, children have been raised to behave in specific ways depending on their gender identity. Girls were brought up to be caring, maternal, gentle and obedient to parents, particularly men.

Boys were considered tough, assertive, violent, and controlling. Boys grew up with the belief that they were superior to girls. You still hear the excuse for male violence with the saying, “Boys will be boys.” We still see signs of this in our society with a high rate of violence against girls and women.

Women and men are both hurt by this sexist divide. We are forced into being people we are not. When women are not permitted to be strong, assertive and outspoken, they often take out their anger on other women.

March 11, 2023

7 Healthy Things To Do When You Disagree With Your Therapist's Advice→

March 11, 2023/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge - Spiritual Life Coach/ Roland Legge

It takes courage to ask for help and be willing to explore what is going on within your mind, body and heart.

Good for you if you have chosen to work with a therapist.

Finding the right therapist is like finding the right partner. You need to find a person that you trust.

March 09, 2023

9 Ways to Detox Your Soul through your Body, Heart and Mind

March 09, 2023/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

You are a complex being. Your life will flow when you pay attention to your soul. To do this work requires patience, determination and commitment. Doing a soul detox is difficult, but the results are life-changing.

The Enneagram is a great tool to help you do this work. It is like a spiritual map to show you how and the type of work you need to do. The Enneagram is not enough in itself. You must find practices that will help you connect with your soul through your body, heart and mind.

January 13, 2023

9 Ways to Create an Amazing Life After Divorce

January 13, 2023/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Acceptance

You entered your marriage thinking it would last the rest of your life. You had dreams of what it would be like to grow older together. All these dreams have now come to an end. After the divorce, what kind of life do you want?

Grief Work

When you accept that your marriage is over, you can begin the grieving process. Grieving takes time; sometimes, you will need help from a professional if you feel stuck in your emotions.

After you have done the work to ready yourself for your new life, you can begin the next chapter of your life.

Learning through the Enneagram

A great tool to help you renew your life is the psychological-spiritual tool called the Enneagram. The Enneagram comprises nine personality types, and you have all nine types within you. Each of us has one type we go to when we are stressed, and this is our personality type. Your type reveals to you the lens through which you see the world.

If you want to create an amazing life after the divorce, you will benefit from accessing the gifts from the nine types.

Here is how each of the nine types can help us to find new life after divorce:

December 15, 2022

The Ultimate Guide to Spirituality for Beginners

December 15, 2022/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Spirituality is a big word.

What does it mean for you? There are many different ways to be a spiritual person.

You can be a spiritual person in and outside of religion. Spirituality is about recognizing and experiencing the life force that connects you with everything animate and inanimate. It connects you with a greater power that humans have given many names.

If you are part of a faith community, you might refer to this power as God, Allah, Goddess, Mohammad, Jesus, Budah and many more.

Religion and Spirituality

The major religions of the world have much to teach us about spirituality. No religion is better than another; they are just different.

They all came into being to help people live joyful, meaningful and purposeful lives. People who inspired the great religions of the world saw a need to build more caring and just communities.

What does it mean for you to be a spiritual person?

Religion is a powerful Source

Religion has done great things, such as ending slavery, providing education for all, standing up for civil rights, bringing down the iron curtain and more.

Also, terrible things happen in the name of religion, such as the crusade, antisemitism, promotion of slavery, division, extremist ideology, Islamaphobia and Christian nationalism.

Learn your Faith Tradition if you have One

If you are part of a faith tradition, find a person who can help you to learn your tradition, letting go of what no longer serves you and practising traditions that give you life. Each religion has a different lens to experience spirituality.

In the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Islam and Christianity), a good guide would be to follow the great commandment to love God with all your heart, be kind to yourself and love your neighbour as yourself.

Moving into the Secular World

As much of the world has become more secular, spirituality has taken on a life beyond the world's religions. I am going to focus on finding spirituality outside of organized religion.

The irony is that many practices used in the secular world have origins in religion.

How would you describe your understanding of what it means to be a spiritual person to a friend?

November 30, 2022

How Each Enneagram Type Can Build Healthy Habits

November 30, 2022/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

What is the Enneagram?

The Enneagram is a powerful tool for transformation. It can help you build healthy habits that will help you to be the best you can be.

Most people know the Enneagram as a personality typing system. Naming your personality type is a small part of what it is all about.

At its best, the Enneagram is a psychological-spiritual map to help you become self-aware, noticing the habits that no longer serve you and learning new ways of being that will bring you joy, purpose and the freedom to be your best self.

Your primary Type will never change—your levels of health shift which will impact how you show up in the world. As you get healthier in your Type, you will get stronger in all nine Enneagram types.

Want to Discover Your Enneagram Type? Click Here to Book your Free Enneagram Typing Session.

Learn to Observe Yourself in Action

With the help of the Enneagram and Coaching, you can learn how to observe yourself in action. Each Type will show you behaviours you need to watch out for and give clues on how you can make better choices that will help you create healthier habits.

This work is about creating new neural pathways that will get stronger every time you practice a new way of being that brings out the best in you. The stronger your neural pathways are, the easier it will be to build new habits that serve you.

Remember that you have all nine types within you so that you can learn from every Type.

October 29, 2022

What is the Hardest Enneagram Type to Love?

October 29, 2022/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Some might say Enneagram Type Eight, the Challenger, is the hardest to love. At their average levels, the Challenger can be forceful and aggressive. They assert control over themselves and others. They will push even harder whenever they feel someone is trying to hold them back. Eights can be intimidating because they say whatever is on their mind. They don't care what other people think of them.

Eights feel vulnerable. Most people don't realize they are big-hearted people. Unfortunately, as a way to survive, they close their hearts down because they believe it is unsafe to be weak and vulnerable.

Average eights will hide their true feelings and expect people to try and control them. This wound sets up an in-balance of power, making it difficult for the couple to communicate and resolve conflict. The eight is always ready for battle, increasing the potential for severe conflict or the silencing of the non-eight partner.

October 22, 2022

How to Transform Your Inner Critic into an Inner Coach

October 22, 2022/ REL Consultants Coaching (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

You have an Inner Critic:

The inner critic has good intentions. It wants to keep you safe. Unfortunately, it can become a problem because it wants to limit you to only doing what is familiar. You will notice that the negative voice of the inner voice gets louder whenever you are doing something new. Are you ready to move from listening to the inner critic to the inner coach?

The first step is to recognize when the inner critic is speaking. Until you become more self-aware, you won't likely notice the negative voice because it is all you hear. You are convinced this is the truth, so why fight it?

You will know the inner critic is talking because of the loud, impatient, demeaning, hostile and judgmental voice.

Over time you will learn to notice when your inner critic is active. Once you are aware this is happening, you can choose to have a conversation with this part of you and reassure this part of yourself that you are capable of taking good care of yourself.

You might want to give your inner critic a name so it will be easier to converse with this part of you. Be kind to this part of you because it wants to keep you safe. An excellent way to quiet your inner critic is by inviting it to use its energy for positive things, such as reminding you to slow down and breathe. Are you ready to move from listening to the inner critic to the inner coach?

September 29, 2022

Out-of-sorts? How the Enneagram can Help

September 29, 2022/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

You are tired, stressed and overwhelmed. Inflation is making it hard to pay your bills every month. You wonder how the conflict between Russia and Ukraine will affect the world. You feel the growing divisions in your country, often dividing along political lines—you feel little hope for the world. You can begin your healing through the Enneagram.

Thankfully you don't have to stay stuck in hopelessness and despair. You don't have to pretend everything is good in the world. The answer lies in learning to access your nine motivations and three instincts.

The Enneagram gives us a map to inner wholeness. It reveals nine different motivations we all need to be healthy and shows you which one you get stuck in. It not only shows you where you get stuck, but it also offers you a way to freedom. Healing through the Enneagram can enhance your life.

The Enneagram also helps you find inner peace by teaching you how to strengthen your three biological drives (self-preservation, social and sexual), and this is what we will focus on in this article.

When you are healthy in your Enneagram type and balanced in your instinctual drives, you will have all you need to stay grounded during turbulent times. Healing through the Enneagram can help you to get the best out of life.

September 17, 2022

10 Steps to Recover from a Divorce

September 17, 2022/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Going through a divorce may have been one of the most challenging times in your life. Now that you are through the divorce, you can move ahead. You now have a fantastic opportunity to do a life reset. Now is a time to heal and discern what is most vital for you to live your life. It is time to claim your new life after divorce.

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