Now That Your Divorce Is Over, What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Now That Your Divorce Is Over, What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?

Your divorce is over, and you are wondering if you are ready to begin a new relationship. It is never wise to jump into a new relationship quickly. If you are honest with yourself, you will know when you are ready.

This in-between time is an excellent opportunity to reflect on this question: what are you looking for in a relationship? Take the time to learn from past relationships to clarify what you need and what would be nice.

Here are eight questions to ask yourself to help you name what you need in a relationship:

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When Divorce Becomes A Reality: How To Let Go Of A Dream & Move On With Your Life

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
When Divorce Becomes A Reality: How To Let Go Of A Dream & Move On With Your Life

How do I let go of a dream that was my relationship with my ex?

Going through a divorce is one of the most challenging things you will do in your life, even when done respectfully.

You are now divorced, and suddenly reality hits. You come home from work, and there is no one to share the highs and lows of the day. You have to do things that your partner used to do and learn again how to do it. You want to go out for dinner, but who do you ask. Most of your recent friends are people you hung out with as couples.

You will need to make time to grieve. You have many questions and concerns that working through will help you begin letting go.

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How To Make Your Life After Divorce Truly The Best Years Of Your Life

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
How To Make Your Life After Divorce Truly The Best Years Of Your Life

Moving through separation and divorce is one of the most challenging things you will do in life. But once you are through it, it is time to re-imagine your life for the next chapter.

First, you need to acknowledge your part in the relationship. How did you enhance the relationship, and how did you hinder it.

If you do not learn your lessons, you will repeat them until you take full responsibility for your behaviour.

If you feel stuck after the end of a relationship, do not be afraid to get help. Seeking help is a sign of strength and not weakness. It is now time to let go of your past relationship, accept it for what it was and focus on what you need to learn.

There are many places to get help. Divorce coaches and counsellors can help you through the immediate pain of separation, and coaches such as myself will help you re-create your life.

What dreams do you have that have gone unfulfilled unto now? Post-divorce is a time to focus on what gives you life, stop procrastinating from following your dreams and then make it happen.

Here are 9 ways to rebuild your life:

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Why Am I So Lonely? I Wanted My Relationship to End & Now I am Miserable

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Why Am I So Lonely? I Wanted My Relationship to End & Now I am Miserable

You were in a long-term relationship, and It did not have a happy ending. You could not wait to end the relationship. Now you are out of the relationship, and you ask yourself, why am I so lonely.

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Why It's Totally Normal To Be Angry At Life After A Divorce (And How To Start To Let It Go)

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Why It's Totally Normal To Be Angry At Life After A Divorce (And How To Start To Let It Go)

Going through a divorce is tough, even when done compassionately.

All your emotions are close to the surface, and you are angry at life. You expected to be in this relationship until death.

You are grieving what could have been. You are losing your partner with who you could share your day. It feels so lonely now.

It now feels awkward to go out with couples who you used to hang out with together. Over time you will discover who you are, your real friends.

You are responsible for everything in your household. It is easy to feel overwhelmed.

Childcare is now a lot more complicated. You suddenly find yourself as a single parent; you are exhausted. You are embarrassed to ask for help.

You are feeling angry at your spouse and probably mad at yourself. You ask yourself, why did I put up with the behaviour of this person for so long? What did I do wrong? Why didn't I see this coming months ago?

If there were an affair by one of you, feelings of betrayal would magnify your emotions even more. You will feel angry, enraged, hurt, sad and disappointed. You will have many reasons to be angry at life.

Moving through a divorce into new life takes time. The only way to move through this tumultuous time is to experience your sadness, hurt, anger and disappointments. Hiding from your pain is only going to make it worse in the long run.

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