You have an inner critic which is part of your ego! Your ego is trying to keep you safe. The worst thing you can do is fight it. It will only make things worse.
Are you aware of your inner critic?
It takes time and practice, to become aware of this negative voice within you. You are so used to hearing it; you think it is speaking the truth.
The more you can become aware of your inner critic the more choice you will have in how you respond to it.
At first, you will become conscious of this voice only after you have got caught up in its negativity. Then with work, you get to the point of noticing it as it is happening. Eventually, you will come to the place when you see it before it starts.
When you catch it before it starts you have the choice of going to your inner wisdom to discern what your best choice is.
You will never get rid of the inner critic. It will show itself when you are under high stress. With increasing self-awareness, you will be able to keep your inner critic in check.
Here are seventeen inner critic quotes that you should never ever believe:
1. I am a failure!
You are not a failure! You are not good at everything, but no one is. So instead of focusing on your weaknesses concentrate on your strengths. Are your failures that bad? I doubt it. You are a much better person than you want to admit.
You learn from every experience in life. You are rarely going to be good at doing something for the first time. Trial and error are part of the path to proficiency in any task.
You have expertise, talents and your very self to gift the world. Everyone does! You are no exception.
You have great value just for being yourself.
2. I suck!
Usually, you say this when you are feeling down and frustrated. You have probably done something, and it didn’t go well in your own eyes.
When you start something new, it can take a lot of practice before you begin to feel confident in your ability to do it. For example, when you learn to ride a bike as a kid, you probably feel like you suck at it. But with practice, you eventually get to the point when you feel comfortable riding alone.
So, when you catch yourself saying, “I suck”, try to focus on something positive in your life. Remind yourself you are learning a new task and that it will take time to get good at it.
Maybe you have chosen the wrong profession. Just because you are not good at one thing doesn’t mean you won’t be good at something else.
You have a purpose in the world. Your job is to find it. There are many people and resources to help you do this.
3. I don’t know how I got this new job.
You may not know how you got your new job. There is a reason. It was not luck, because the employer saw something in you that they knew would be a benefit to their company.
It is time to celebrate your new job. Know that you got it for a good reason. Your job is now to do your best.
Now is the time to reflect on your strengths. Don't be shy. Acknowledge your good qualities, name your strengths and allow the positive feelings to soak in.
4. My relationships never last longer than five years.
Just because you have had some short-term relationships doesn’t mean you will never have a long-term relationship.
With this kind of attitude, you will subconsciously act in ways that will lead to ending your relationship at five years or earlier.
Instead of worrying about how long your relationship is going to last focus on the joy you receive each day with the one you love.
5. No one finds me attractive.
You are attractive. Maybe you don’t fit all the stereotypes of what the media suggests makes a woman beautiful, but you are still beautiful in your way.
You will never know all the ways people will find you attractive. Maybe it is your effervescence, your honesty, your sense of humor, your smile, or your creativity.
It can be helpful to acknowledge your beauty every day to yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror every morning and remind yourself how beautiful you are. Eventually, you will start to believe it.
6. Nothing good ever happens to me.
If you stop to think about this, you will find holes in your argument. Good things have happened some time in your life.
Why don’t you try brainstorming on a piece of paper all the good things that have happened to you? They don’t have to be big things. They could be hundreds of small things.
Just because you have been going through a time, it doesn't mean this will keep going on throughout your life.
The law of attraction suggests that when you start to have a more positive attitude, you will attract more positive things in your life.
7. It is too good to be true.
Nothing is ever too good to be true. You are an awesome person. You deserve to experience good things. It could be the job you have been dreaming of for years. It could be the love of your life.
Change your attitude from fear and hopelessness to an expectation that good things have and will continue to happen in your life. This change of perspective can be nurtured by working with a psychological-spiritual tool called the Enneagram. Click Here for more Information.
8. I am too fat.
What is too fat? It depends on the culture and era you live. There are places and times where a curvy body is considered attractive and sexy. More recently the world has encouraged women to be thin. Sadly because of this many woman struggle with eating disorders.
You come with your own body, and there is no one perfect body type. You are one of a great diversity of body types and all equally beautiful.
Your goal is to stay healthy. Your goal is to eat nutritious food and get plenty of exercise.
More importantly, it is for you to listen to your body and give it what it needs. Your own body will have its individual needs. You need to discover what your body needs for it to be healthy.
9. “Oh” it was nothing.
How many times have you said “Oh it was nothing” when someone was praising you? If you are like many, you will have done this many times.
It is time for you to now stand up and accept the praise from those who appreciate you. All you need to do is smile and say thank you.
10. I am not smart enough.
You are smart in your way. You are a bright, intelligent woman, and wise beyond your years.
Maybe you bring wisdom to the people in your life through your ability to listen to the knowledge within you. Perhaps it comes from your ability to listen to another person with an open mind and heart. Maybe it is your intellectual abilities that help you to practice science.
It is a matter of surrounding yourself with people who believe in you. Soak up those positive vibrations. The more you find your inner strength the negativity will run off your body like water in a rain storm.
11. I hate myself.
You are your own worst enemy. You are not only hurting yourself but the people around you.
If you are seriously down on yourself, you will probably need some help to get out of this vicious cycle. There are many professional out there such as coaches and counselors to help you.
Instead of focusing on what you don’t like about yourself start to notice all the good things about yourself.
Practice radical gratitude. Take time in the morning or evening to reflect on what you are thankful for such as food, shelter, friends and so much more. It is hard to hate yourself when you are so grateful.
12. I am a loser.
First, what is a loser? I think a loser is someone down on themselves. Feeling like a loser is a way of thinking. It does not reflect the truth.
Try putting some post up notes around your house or apartment with positive statements about yourself such as:
· I am smart.
· I am beautiful
· I am kind
· I am compassionate
· I am a hard worker
· I am creative.
You might like to journal. Notice all the negative thoughts you have had in the day and turn them around into something positive.
As you do this, you will feel a lightness growing in your mind, heart and body. Yes, you will still have tough days, but in the long run, you will get more positive, confident and healthier.
13. I am not worth spending money on myself.
You have great worth. You are worth investing in yourself, and this often-cost time and money.
If you follow your dreams and passion, you not only benefit. We all benefit from your being at your best.
You need to remember that you have just as much right to these resources as anyone else. There are times in your life where your family will need to support you. You may feel shame, but you don't need to own it.
14. I don’t look good in a bathing suit.
Who says you don't look good in a bathing suit? You have just as much right to wear a bathing suit as anyone else.
You are beautiful. If you are a person of faith, remember you always are a reflection of God. If you do not identify with a faith tradition, you can think of how everything in the universe is beautiful, and you are part of the universe.
15. I will never amount to anything.
Did someone tell you that you will never amount to anything? Know this is a lie! Your goal is to become the best person you can be. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone else.
An excellent place to start is to focus on doing what you love. Get the help you need to learn whatever you need to improve.
Follow what inspires you if something new feels overwhelming take it one step at a time.
Never be afraid to get help. A willingness to get help is a sign of strength and courage.
You are right on schedule. You are where you need to be today. You are going to get to wherever you want to go. Enjoy the ride.
Your inner critic is always there. It usually shows itself when you are under stress. Your goal is to stay at grounded, relaxed and self-aware as you can be. As you become more self-aware, you will notice when your inner critic is in action.
This process of learning to become more self-aware takes time and practice. It is essential that you remain patient and forgiving of yourself. Learning to be gentle with yourself will help you to quiet your inner critic.
Changing your attitude towards your self takes intentional work such as practicing meditation, getting lots of sleep, eating good food, reminding yourself throughout the day that you are a person of worth and value.
The good news is that you can learn to live with your inner critic. It will show itself from time to time, but you will have the skills to notice it and make some better choices that will be in your highest purpose.
I am, Roland Legge a Life Coach here to help you to quiet your inner critic. You can join my private newsletter list for Free Monthly Advice and get Your Free Enneagram Test and sign up for a Free 30 Minute Discovery Call with me in my Acuity Scheduling Calendar.