Why It's Totally Normal To Be Angry At Life After A Divorce (And How To Start To Let It Go)

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Why It's Totally Normal To Be Angry At Life After A Divorce (And How To Start To Let It Go)

Going through a divorce is tough, even when done compassionately.

All your emotions are close to the surface, and you are angry at life. You expected to be in this relationship until death.

You are grieving what could have been. You are losing your partner with who you could share your day. It feels so lonely now.

It now feels awkward to go out with couples who you used to hang out with together. Over time you will discover who you are, your real friends.

You are responsible for everything in your household. It is easy to feel overwhelmed.

Childcare is now a lot more complicated. You suddenly find yourself as a single parent; you are exhausted. You are embarrassed to ask for help.

You are feeling angry at your spouse and probably mad at yourself. You ask yourself, why did I put up with the behaviour of this person for so long? What did I do wrong? Why didn't I see this coming months ago?

If there were an affair by one of you, feelings of betrayal would magnify your emotions even more. You will feel angry, enraged, hurt, sad and disappointed. You will have many reasons to be angry at life.

Moving through a divorce into new life takes time. The only way to move through this tumultuous time is to experience your sadness, hurt, anger and disappointments. Hiding from your pain is only going to make it worse in the long run.

Read More

Which Enneagram Type is Most Common and Why

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Which Enneagram Type is Most Common and Why

Which Enneagram type is most common is not clear. Most of the information available to us today is based on the anecdotal experience of Enneagram practitioners. I am not aware of any scientific studies. It would be hard to do a scientific study because there are too many variables that make up the complexity of personality.

Many Enneagram practitioners have noticed, based on anecdotal experience, the six, seven and nines are most common, at least in North America.

Read More

Awesome Stress-busting tips for all nine Enneagram Types

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Awesome Stress-busting tips for all nine Enneagram Types

The Enneagram is a psychological, spiritual map for personal growth. The Enneagram helps you to make a conscious change in your life. As you become self-aware of your behaviour and mindset, you can make better choices.

The Enneagram will point out where you are most likely to get stuck and give you choices that are more in harmony with your needs. It will help you recognize unconscious behaviour allowing you to respond in new and healthier ways.

The Enneagram tackles stress. One popular teaching from Russ Hudson and Don Riso talks about how stress affects our behaviour. Each Enneagram type disintegrates under pressure and shows up in the most dysfunctional behaviour of another type. This dynamic will help you understand why you behave differently under stress.

Stress can affect us at any time, whether you are in heavy traffic, starting a new job or waiting for the results of a test from your doctor. When you get stuck in stress, it pushes your natural personality to its limit and takes on some of the unhealthy behaviours of another type. At times like this, you do not feel like yourself.

Read More

Nine Ways to Liberate your Inner Critic

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Nine Ways to Liberate your Inner Critic

You have an inner critic, and it is never going to go away. The good news is that you can learn to quiet down this part of your self.

First, here is an introduction to the inner critic and the ego.

The inner critic is part of your ego. Your ego is there to help you differentiate yourself from others. It is the beginning of your growing self-awareness that separates you as a distinct person. Finding your own identity is essential for your survival.

Your inner critic wants to keep you safe. During your childhood years, It helps you to stay safe at a time in your life when you are vulnerable.

The trouble is that the inner critic tries to keep you safe by pressuring you to stay with the familiar. It will panic whenever you try something new.

When you become an adult, it is beneficial to notice when your inner critic is speaking. The voice of the inner critic is usually loud, impatient, abrasive and angry. The voice of your true self is typically gentle, persuasive and patient.

When you are aware that your inner critic is speaking, you then have the choice to ignore it and follow the voice of your true self. You have the option to invite your inner critic to help you be more constructive. You might ask it to let you know when you are getting stuck in fear.

Read More

Fifteen Inner Critic Quotes That You Should Never EVER Believe

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Fifteen Inner Critic Quotes That You Should Never EVER Believe

You have an inner critic which is part of your ego!  Your ego is trying to keep you safe.  The worst thing you can do is fight it. It will only make things worse.

Are you aware of your inner critic?

It takes time and practice, to become aware of this negative voice within you. You are so used to hearing it; you think it is speaking the truth.

The more you can become aware of your inner critic the more choice you will have in how you respond to it.

Read More