Choosing Change Can Be Hard and Scary, but It's Worth It

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Choosing Change Can Be Hard and Scary, but It's Worth It

Feeling stuck in life is a hard place to be

You get trapped in old habits that no longer serve you. Navigating life transitions can help you to get the best out of life.

Every time you choose the "devil you know versus the devil you don't know," you move further and further away from living the life the universe desire you to live.

The challenge is to get over the feeling of hopelessness and feelings of being helpless. Your inner critic is getting in the way of you moving ahead.

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Why Am I So Lonely? I Wanted My Relationship to End & Now I am Miserable

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Why Am I So Lonely? I Wanted My Relationship to End & Now I am Miserable

You were in a long-term relationship, and It did not have a happy ending. You could not wait to end the relationship. Now you are out of the relationship, and you ask yourself, why am I so lonely.

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How Your Fear Of Change Is Keeping You From The Life, You're Meant To Live

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
How Your Fear Of Change Is Keeping You From The Life, You're Meant To Live

Change is a constant. It will never stop. If you want to follow your dreams, you will need to overcome your fear of change.

Often it is the voice of the inner critic that gets you in trouble. The inner critic is that part of your ego that wants to keep you safe by keeping to what it knows.

Your inner critic was necessary for your survival when you were an infant and child. However, it becomes a problem when you reach adulthood if you are not aware of how this negative voice impacts you.

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Developing A Practice To Listen To Your Inner Voice (Once & For All)

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Developing A Practice To Listen To Your Inner Voice (Once & For All)

You have wisdom within you, and this is the voice of your true self. With practice, you can learn to notice and listen to your inner voice.

You have an inner voice whether you are a practising member of a religion. It is given to all people regardless of their ethnicity, age, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or philosophy.

I am a coach and a teacher of the Enneagram. The Enneagram is a language that can bring all people together. It is more than a personality tool that can help you to access your inner voice.

Your inner voice arises from a direct connection with the energy that connects everything in the universe together. Some people call this God. Some people call this spirit. Some people call this oneness.

No matter what you call this higher power that connects all of life, animate or inanimate, together, it is real and accessible to us all. Listen to your inner voice, and you will find your purpose.

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5 Ways to Thrive After a Divorce: How to get the best out of life?

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
5 Ways to Thrive After a Divorce: How to get the best out of life?

Even the best of divorces is not easy. If you do your work, you will come out of this time stronger, healthier and more confident.

Ending your relationship may feel like a chaotic time. The only way to release these intense feelings, thoughts and sensations are to move through them.

You are likely to feel sadness, anger, despair, hopelessness and confusion. One moment you will be happy, the next you will be crying.

You are not going crazy. This roller coaster of emotions is your pyche’s way to heal. You need to give yourself space to re-orient to the world without this person in your daily life.

Find safe spaces and people to allow yourself to feel the pain. Ignoring or avoiding the pain will only make it worse.

The more you try to ignore it or suppress it, the worse it is going to get.

You may feel peace for a moment, but those feelings will come back even more powerfully at inconvenient times.

You are not just grieving the loss of your relationship but what it could have been.

Most people take at least a year to move through this process, but many take longer. If you are feeling stuck, it would be wise for you to consider getting professional help.

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Nine Ways to Heal after the Death of a Loved One

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Nine Ways to Heal after the Death of a Loved One

The death of a loved one, whether that be a family member or friend, is hard. The worst thing you can do is hold in your emotions. Holding in your feelings will only make you feel worse.

If you fear losing control, you are among many. You can only hold it together for a short time before you feel the strain.

Avoiding grief is destructive. It will make you sick. The longer you hold it in, the more it is going to hurt you.

Grief is a natural response to loss. If you are willing to take the journey through the intense emotions, you will find healing. Life will never return to the way it was before death, but you will find a new purpose to life.

Here are nine ways to heal after the death of a loved one:

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Perfectionist and Christmas (How to Survive)

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Perfectionist and Christmas (How to Survive)

Christmas is supposed to be a joyful, happy season. Yet for many of us, it can be challenging.

Do you find it like a command performance when you must pretend to be full of joy? When you feel forced to lie to people about how you think, it makes you even worse.

You are not always going to be happy when Christmas rolls around every year.

If you are a perfectionist, you can feel extreme pressure at this time of year to have everything “perfect” for your family and friends. You think you need to host the perfect party, give the ideal gift, prepare the perfect Christmas dinner and keep your house in immaculate condition.

Here are five ways for the perfectionist to survive Christmas:

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4 ways to stop the inner critic from taking over your life

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
4 ways to stop the inner critic from taking over your life

You have an inner critic.  It is a part of you.  It has good intentions. It wants to keep you safe.

 It only knows what you have experienced before in your life. It feels threatened by anything new.

The good news is that you can learn to quiet your critical inner voice.  Your ego needs some reassurance that you, as an adult can take care of yourself.

At first, it takes time to become aware of your inner critic. Often you are so used to this voice you think it is a normal part of yourself.  You don’t realize how destructive this voice has been in your life.

You need to be patient with yourself as you do the critical work to release yourself from your inner negativity.  You need to practice a lot of self-love. 

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Nine Reasons Why You Have A Harsh Inner Critic According to The Enneagram

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Nine Reasons Why You Have A Harsh Inner Critic According to The Enneagram

You have an inner critic!  It will never go away. 

You have a choice to stay in the control of your ego or risk following your inner instincts.

Your inner critic wants to be your friend. Your ego likes the status quo. Your inner critic wants you to keep to the familiar so it can stay in charge.

The secret is to begin to befriend your inner critic.  Let it know how much you appreciate its desire to keep you safe.  Reassure it that you are now an adult and can take good care of yourself.  Over time your inner critic will quiet down.

The Enneagram is an excellent psychological-spiritual map that can show you how your inner critic tries to control you.  Each personality type has a different message and relationship with the inner critic.  

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The 3 Most Important Things A Good Relationship Consists Of

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
The 3 Most Important Things A Good Relationship Consists Of

Are you hungry for love?  Many of us will look for a person to complete us. The reality is that no one but our self can do this.  Why? Because you are one hundred percent responsible for your own happiness.

You are two whole people going into your relationship.  You're there for each other to create a nurturing environment – nudging you both towards health and wholeness.

What do you desire in a relationship? You likely want intimacy, trust, safety, playfulness, encouragement, love and compassion.   But are you both ready to take one hundred percent responsibility to make it happen?

Relationships should not be hard, but you will go through rough times. Are you both prepared to learn through the ups and downs of your relationship?  If you both can say yes to this, you are ready to begin the adventure.

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