Finding God Within Ourselves

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Finding God Within Ourselves

What is God

God is a big word. You and I have different images of God. When I refer to God, I am talking about an energy/force within and around you that connects everything, both animate and inanimate.

It is the higher power within us that speaks to us through our bodies (sensations), hearts (emotions) and heads (quiet mind).   

God is a loving force that seeks to bring out the best in each of us and sustain a world where all life has a chance to thrive.  

There is the spark of God in each of us. It is not something we earn. It is a gift given to us to be used wisely and with compassion.

The good news is that God is within all of us.

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Why Being Self-Loving Makes You a Better Partner

/ REL Consultants (Spiritual Life Coach and Enneagram Teacher)/
Why Being Self-Loving Makes You a Better Partner

What does it mean to love yourself and be a better partner? Have you found a way to love yourself while ensuring you meet all your needs? Can you love yourself as much as you love your partner and kids?

How good are you at loving yourself? Do you get plenty of sleep, eat healthy food, exercise, pay attention to your emotions, enjoy time with friends and family and get help when needed? How you answer this question will reveal your strengths and growing edges around self-love.

If you are struggling to care for yourself, first, you must get over the belief drilled into you as a child that you need to always put the needs of others before your own. The pressure to put others first is especially true for women who are expected to sacrifice themselves for the needs of their families.

You get into relationship problems when you expect others to meet your needs. The reality is that you are responsible for your happiness. When you love yourself, you ensure that you are getting your needs met. You are no longer relying on another person to make you okay. Being grounded in your body, heart, and head help you be a better partner.

In any relationship, you need balance. Yes, there will be times that you will happily go out of your way to help another person when they are having a rough time. It only becomes a problem when you are always the one to give up your life for them.  

In a healthy relationship, there will be a balance over time. You will both be there to support and encourage each other. No one will take advantage of the other.

Here are Eight ways that loving yourself helps you to be a better partner:

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9 Ways to Create an Amazing Life After Divorce

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
9 Ways to Create an Amazing Life After Divorce

Acceptance

You entered your marriage thinking it would last the rest of your life. You had dreams of what it would be like to grow older together. All these dreams have now come to an end. After the divorce, what kind of life do you want?

Grief Work

When you accept that your marriage is over, you can begin the grieving process. Grieving takes time; sometimes, you will need help from a professional if you feel stuck in your emotions.

After you have done the work to ready yourself for your new life, you can begin the next chapter of your life.

Learning through the Enneagram

A great tool to help you renew your life is the psychological-spiritual tool called the Enneagram. The Enneagram comprises nine personality types, and you have all nine types within you. Each of us has one type we go to when we are stressed, and this is our personality type. Your type reveals to you the lens through which you see the world.

If you want to create an amazing life after the divorce, you will benefit from accessing the gifts from the nine types.

Here is how each of the nine types can help us to find new life after divorce:

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The Ultimate Guide to Spirituality for Beginners

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
The Ultimate Guide to Spirituality for Beginners

Spirituality is a big word.

What does it mean for you? There are many different ways to be a spiritual person.

You can be a spiritual person in and outside of religion. Spirituality is about recognizing and experiencing the life force that connects you with everything animate and inanimate. It connects you with a greater power that humans have given many names.

If you are part of a faith community, you might refer to this power as God, Allah, Goddess, Mohammad, Jesus, Budah and many more.

Religion and Spirituality

The major religions of the world have much to teach us about spirituality. No religion is better than another; they are just different.

They all came into being to help people live joyful, meaningful and purposeful lives. People who inspired the great religions of the world saw a need to build more caring and just communities.

What does it mean for you to be a spiritual person?

Religion is a powerful Source

Religion has done great things, such as ending slavery, providing education for all, standing up for civil rights, bringing down the iron curtain and more.

Also, terrible things happen in the name of religion, such as the crusade, antisemitism, promotion of slavery, division, extremist ideology, Islamaphobia and Christian nationalism.

Learn your Faith Tradition if you have One

If you are part of a faith tradition, find a person who can help you to learn your tradition, letting go of what no longer serves you and practising traditions that give you life. Each religion has a different lens to experience spirituality.

In the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Islam and Christianity), a good guide would be to follow the great commandment to love God with all your heart, be kind to yourself and love your neighbour as yourself.

Moving into the Secular World

As much of the world has become more secular, spirituality has taken on a life beyond the world's religions. I am going to focus on finding spirituality outside of organized religion.

The irony is that many practices used in the secular world have origins in religion.

How would you describe your understanding of what it means to be a spiritual person to a friend?

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How Each Enneagram Type Can Build Healthy Habits

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
How Each Enneagram Type Can Build Healthy Habits

What is the Enneagram?

The Enneagram is a powerful tool for transformation. It can help you build healthy habits that will help you to be the best you can be.

Most people know the Enneagram as a personality typing system. Naming your personality type is a small part of what it is all about.

At its best, the Enneagram is a psychological-spiritual map to help you become self-aware, noticing the habits that no longer serve you and learning new ways of being that will bring you joy, purpose and the freedom to be your best self.

Your primary Type will never change—your levels of health shift which will impact how you show up in the world. As you get healthier in your Type, you will get stronger in all nine Enneagram types.

Want to Discover Your Enneagram Type? Click Here to Book your Free Enneagram Typing Session.

Learn to Observe Yourself in Action

With the help of the Enneagram and Coaching, you can learn how to observe yourself in action. Each Type will show you behaviours you need to watch out for and give clues on how you can make better choices that will help you create healthier habits.

This work is about creating new neural pathways that will get stronger every time you practice a new way of being that brings out the best in you. The stronger your neural pathways are, the easier it will be to build new habits that serve you.

Remember that you have all nine types within you so that you can learn from every Type.

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Choosing Change Can Be Hard and Scary, but It's Worth It

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Choosing Change Can Be Hard and Scary, but It's Worth It

Feeling stuck in life is a hard place to be

You get trapped in old habits that no longer serve you. Navigating life transitions can help you to get the best out of life.

Every time you choose the "devil you know versus the devil you don't know," you move further and further away from living the life the universe desire you to live.

The challenge is to get over the feeling of hopelessness and feelings of being helpless. Your inner critic is getting in the way of you moving ahead.

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What is the Hardest Enneagram Type to Love?

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
What is the Hardest Enneagram Type to Love?

Some might say Enneagram Type Eight, the Challenger, is the hardest to love. At their average levels, the Challenger can be forceful and aggressive. They assert control over themselves and others. They will push even harder whenever they feel someone is trying to hold them back. Eights can be intimidating because they say whatever is on their mind. They don't care what other people think of them.

Eights feel vulnerable. Most people don't realize they are big-hearted people. Unfortunately, as a way to survive, they close their hearts down because they believe it is unsafe to be weak and vulnerable.

Average eights will hide their true feelings and expect people to try and control them. This wound sets up an in-balance of power, making it difficult for the couple to communicate and resolve conflict. The eight is always ready for battle, increasing the potential for severe conflict or the silencing of the non-eight partner.

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How to Transform Your Inner Critic into an Inner Coach

/ REL Consultants Coaching (Roland Legge)/
How to Transform Your Inner Critic into an Inner Coach

You have an Inner Critic:

The inner critic has good intentions. It wants to keep you safe. Unfortunately, it can become a problem because it wants to limit you to only doing what is familiar. You will notice that the negative voice of the inner voice gets louder whenever you are doing something new. Are you ready to move from listening to the inner critic to the inner coach?

The first step is to recognize when the inner critic is speaking. Until you become more self-aware, you won't likely notice the negative voice because it is all you hear. You are convinced this is the truth, so why fight it?

You will know the inner critic is talking because of the loud, impatient, demeaning, hostile and judgmental voice.

Over time you will learn to notice when your inner critic is active. Once you are aware this is happening, you can choose to have a conversation with this part of you and reassure this part of yourself that you are capable of taking good care of yourself.

You might want to give your inner critic a name so it will be easier to converse with this part of you. Be kind to this part of you because it wants to keep you safe. An excellent way to quiet your inner critic is by inviting it to use its energy for positive things, such as reminding you to slow down and breathe. Are you ready to move from listening to the inner critic to the inner coach?

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Out-of-sorts? How the Enneagram can Help

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Out-of-sorts? How the Enneagram can Help

You are tired, stressed and overwhelmed. Inflation is making it hard to pay your bills every month. You wonder how the conflict between Russia and Ukraine will affect the world. You feel the growing divisions in your country, often dividing along political lines—you feel little hope for the world. You can begin your healing through the Enneagram.

Thankfully you don't have to stay stuck in hopelessness and despair. You don't have to pretend everything is good in the world. The answer lies in learning to access your nine motivations and three instincts.

The Enneagram gives us a map to inner wholeness. It reveals nine different motivations we all need to be healthy and shows you which one you get stuck in. It not only shows you where you get stuck, but it also offers you a way to freedom. Healing through the Enneagram can enhance your life.

The Enneagram also helps you find inner peace by teaching you how to strengthen your three biological drives (self-preservation, social and sexual), and this is what we will focus on in this article.

When you are healthy in your Enneagram type and balanced in your instinctual drives, you will have all you need to stay grounded during turbulent times. Healing through the Enneagram can help you to get the best out of life.

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10 Steps to Recover from a Divorce

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
10 Steps to Recover from a Divorce

Going through a divorce may have been one of the most challenging times in your life. Now that you are through the divorce, you can move ahead. You now have a fantastic opportunity to do a life reset. Now is a time to heal and discern what is most vital for you to live your life. It is time to claim your new life after divorce.

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