It takes courage to ask for help and be willing to explore what is going on within your mind, body and heart.
Good for you if you have chosen to work with a therapist.
Finding the right therapist is like finding the right partner. You need to find a person that you trust.
Read MoreWhat does it mean to love yourself and be a better partner? Have you found a way to love yourself while ensuring you meet all your needs? Can you love yourself as much as you love your partner and kids?
How good are you at loving yourself? Do you get plenty of sleep, eat healthy food, exercise, pay attention to your emotions, enjoy time with friends and family and get help when needed? How you answer this question will reveal your strengths and growing edges around self-love.
If you are struggling to care for yourself, first, you must get over the belief drilled into you as a child that you need to always put the needs of others before your own. The pressure to put others first is especially true for women who are expected to sacrifice themselves for the needs of their families.
You get into relationship problems when you expect others to meet your needs. The reality is that you are responsible for your happiness. When you love yourself, you ensure that you are getting your needs met. You are no longer relying on another person to make you okay. Being grounded in your body, heart, and head help you be a better partner.
In any relationship, you need balance. Yes, there will be times that you will happily go out of your way to help another person when they are having a rough time. It only becomes a problem when you are always the one to give up your life for them.
In a healthy relationship, there will be a balance over time. You will both be there to support and encourage each other. No one will take advantage of the other.
What does it mean for you? There are many different ways to be a spiritual person.
You can be a spiritual person in and outside of religion. Spirituality is about recognizing and experiencing the life force that connects you with everything animate and inanimate. It connects you with a greater power that humans have given many names.
If you are part of a faith community, you might refer to this power as God, Allah, Goddess, Mohammad, Jesus, Budah and many more.
The major religions of the world have much to teach us about spirituality. No religion is better than another; they are just different.
They all came into being to help people live joyful, meaningful and purposeful lives. People who inspired the great religions of the world saw a need to build more caring and just communities.
What does it mean for you to be a spiritual person?
Religion has done great things, such as ending slavery, providing education for all, standing up for civil rights, bringing down the iron curtain and more.
Also, terrible things happen in the name of religion, such as the crusade, antisemitism, promotion of slavery, division, extremist ideology, Islamaphobia and Christian nationalism.
If you are part of a faith tradition, find a person who can help you to learn your tradition, letting go of what no longer serves you and practising traditions that give you life. Each religion has a different lens to experience spirituality.
In the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Islam and Christianity), a good guide would be to follow the great commandment to love God with all your heart, be kind to yourself and love your neighbour as yourself.
As much of the world has become more secular, spirituality has taken on a life beyond the world's religions. I am going to focus on finding spirituality outside of organized religion.
The irony is that many practices used in the secular world have origins in religion.
How would you describe your understanding of what it means to be a spiritual person to a friend?
Read MoreSome might say Enneagram Type Eight, the Challenger, is the hardest to love. At their average levels, the Challenger can be forceful and aggressive. They assert control over themselves and others. They will push even harder whenever they feel someone is trying to hold them back. Eights can be intimidating because they say whatever is on their mind. They don't care what other people think of them.
Eights feel vulnerable. Most people don't realize they are big-hearted people. Unfortunately, as a way to survive, they close their hearts down because they believe it is unsafe to be weak and vulnerable.
Average eights will hide their true feelings and expect people to try and control them. This wound sets up an in-balance of power, making it difficult for the couple to communicate and resolve conflict. The eight is always ready for battle, increasing the potential for severe conflict or the silencing of the non-eight partner.
Read MoreHave you reached a time when you start to feel like something is missing from your life? Perhaps you are questioning your purpose. You wonder where the time has gone, and you look older than you feel. Are you having an early midlife crisis?
Maybe you have not accomplished enough in life and fear it is too late to begin something new.
Maybe you are tempted to buy a fancy car, wear flashy jewelry, or get plastic surgery to stay looking young.
If you are experiencing any of these, you might have a midlife crisis.
Read MoreI offer coaching to individuals, couples and small businesses and nonprofits. I use the Deep Coaching model that helps one to become self aware and present. It helps both individuals and organizations to live in the present instead of the past and future. This type of coaching is for those who really want real change in their lives.
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