Nine signs that you need professional help going through a major transition

A hundred years ago, change happened at a slower pace.  Our minds, bodies and hearts had time to adjust to the changing seasons of life.

Today the world is changing at such a fast pace.  You may be finding it hard to navigate change.

If you are having a hard time adjusting to the continual change in your life, you may benefit from professional help.

Here are nine signs that professional help would be beneficial for you.

1.     Sleepless nights:

If you are continuing to have trouble sleeping, after a significant change in your life it is wise to get help.

Sleep is so important.  You need plenty of rest. Each of us is different in how much sleep we need, but the average person needs eight hours a night.

When you don’t get enough sleep, everything seems harder.  Things that would not usually bother us feel overwhelming.

Little sleep robs you of your energy. Little sleep impacts your immune system making it more likely you will get sick.

It is normal to have difficulty sleeping every once in a while. But if it goes on beyond a month, you would be wise to see your doctor and get the help of a counsellor or coach.

A doctor will be able to give you some pills to help you to get back into a sleeping routine. A counsellor can help you to express the sadness, pain and fear that were roused by the changes going on in your life.

A professional coach can help you to deepen your relationship with yourself. A coach can help you to access your inner wisdom that will help you to live fully through future life changes.  

2.     Irritability:

Are you yelling at your husband?  Are you yelling at your kids?  Are you yelling at your colleagues at work?  Like all of us, you feel irritable at times, but when it becomes permanent, it might be time to get help.

You are not only suffering yourself, but the people who love you and care about you are suffering because of the way you are treating them.

A professional will help you to release all your pain in a safe way that honours you and the people you love.

Click Here to Read More About how your Inner Critic may be influencing you

3.     Depression:

There are many different forms of depression.  It is normal to feel down at times in life.

But when you are going through difficult times, it is possible to become so overwhelmed that you find it difficult to move out of the depression.

If your depression is lasting more than a month, it would be wise to see your family doctor, counsellor, psychologist, or psychiatrist.

With help, you can find new life again. The sooner you get the support, the quicker you will be able to move out of this dark place where hopelessness won’t go away.

It takes courage to ask for help.  Don’t let anyone tell you to “suck it up.” Trying to avoid the pain will only make it worse. 

4.     Exhaustion:

If you are feeling tired all the time, this is not normal.  Do you feel like you trying to hold up the whole world?  Does your head feel heavy?  The good news is that life does not need to be like this.

You may be exhausted because you are not taking care of yourself.  Are you eating well? Are you getting enough sleep?  Are you getting enough exercise?  When you are feeling overwhelmed, it is easy to ignore your own needs. 

It is easy to get caught up in a vicious circle. The more tired you feel, the less you do. The less you do, the more depressed you get. The more depressed you get, the less contact you have with people who care about you.

It doesn’t have to be this way!  With the help of doctors, counsellors, coaches and other healing professionals, you can find new life.

You need to discern for yourself who is the best person to help you.  Go and interview different people to see who is a good fit. Trust that you will know who is the right person for you. 

5.     Disconnecting from family and friends:

If your friends are phoning you concerned that you have disappeared from their lives, you need to pay attention.

If you are avoiding the people you love regularly, then you have a problem.  It is usual for us to take time for ourselves. But when you start to avoid people at all costs, you need help.

You need your friends and family.  They will help you to find joy in your life again.  If being around people you care about brings tears, let them come. A healthy friend or family member will be there for you.

If you are avoiding people because of severe depression, you might benefit from seeing a medical doctor, counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist.

If you have never had severe depression, and you are just feeling a bit down, a professional coach can help you to get emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually healthier.

6.     Drink excessive amounts of alcohol:

If you are self-medicating through alcohol or other drugs this is a sign you need professional help.

It is one thing to have a drink of wine with your meal once in a while but if you are using it to dampen your internal pain it is time for you to seek help.

The longer you wait to get help the longer it will take to overcome your addiction and the pain that caused it in the first place.

When you are suffering, it is no time to put yourself down. It is time to honour yourself by getting the support you need.

7.     Unable to move on after grieving the death of a loved one:

Are you finding it hard to move on after the death of a loved one?  Has this been going on for over a year?

There is no wrong or right way to grieve. But grief becomes a problem when your inner pain blocks you from being able to move on in life.

Are you still crying uncontrollably?  Have you started to deal with all their clothes, stuff and memorabilia?  Have you dealt with the will? Have you found a place for the ashes?  Are you starting to look forward to enjoying life again? 

If you are finding it hard to get back into the rhythm of life you might benefit from help. You might get the help you need from a local clergy member, a counsellor, or a psychologist.

If you have been through multiples deaths in a short period of time, grieving is always going to be more difficult.

Don’t be afraid to get the help you need. You are worth the investment!

8.     You can not get your ex off your mind:

Your ex-husband has left you.  You are having a hard time getting him out of your head. One moment you are angry at him for leaving you. The next moment you wonder why you didn’t leave. him sooner. 

If you were in an abusive relationship or your partner left unexpectedly, the pain and grief will be stronger.

Continuing to be in contact with your ex may be problematic for you.

Dreaming that he will return will only increase the length of your grief and it may be a sign you need extra support. Wishful thinking will never bring him back.

Depending on how far you are in denial will determine the type of help you need.  Any counsellor, a psychologist would be able to help you.  If it is not as series a professional coach can help you find a better life. 

Often when you are having a hard time letting go of an old relationship suggests you may have trouble loving yourself. 

A professional coach such as I can help you to love and honour yourself. When you can accept yourself, you are more likely to find healthier relationships.

Click Here to read more about how you can overcome the most common challenges in life

9.     You are feeling desperate to hook up with someone immediately after your separation and divorce.

If you are feeling empty and lonely, watch out that you don’t jump into a new relationship before you are ready.

It is not uncommon to feel lonely after your partner has left. It is easy to drop your boundaries and start a new relationship with an inappropriate person.

After the end of any relationship, you need to take time to care for yourself. You need time to learn from your past relationship so you can make sure that your next relationship is at least as healthy.

A professional coach can provide you with a safe place to work through your sadness, anger, pain and loneliness.

You are worth it.  You live in a fast-competitive world.  It is easy to find yourself overwhelmed.

You are no different than anyone else. You need friends and family to support and encourage you. 

There are times when life is more challenging. It could be leaving home for the first time; it could be the pressures of university; it could be the pressure of a new relationship; it could be the stress of marriage; it could be the birth of your first child; it could be your first job; it could be retirement; it could be the death of a loved one; it could be a health challenge for yourself. 

No matter what causes stress, you may need help more than what your friends and family are capable of helping you.

See yourself as strong and courageous because of your willingness to get help.  Don’t allow anyone to put you down.  Sucking up your pain is only going to make it worse.

In the end, you need to find a professional that is going to best help you.  Find out from friends who they would recommend.  Interview practitioners at your first appointment to make sure they are a good fit. 

Then you have to focus on your healing.  No one can do this work for you.  The right counsellor or coach will provide a safe place for you to do your healing work.

I am Roland Legge, an Identity Coach here to help you move through times of change and transition.  You can join my private newsletter list for Free Monthly Advice and get access to Your Free Online Enneagram Test.